If I wrote headlines

Tet Offensive Begins, Liberal Media Sighs Relief

BAGHDAD, Iraq Oct. 7, 2004 — Explosions and gunfire erupted Thursday night outside hotels housing foreigners and journalists in downtown Baghdad, but there were no immediate reports of casualties.

Security guards at the Palestine hotel said two rockets hit the outside of the nearby Sheraton hotel. There was no indication of a fire inside the Sheraton, although a palm tree burned outside.

The fire was believed caused by one of several projectiles that landed in the compound surrounded by a concrete wall. Tracers streaked across the night sky.

Bursts of automatic gunfire were heard in the street between the two hotels. The gunfire lasted for about 10 minutes after the explosions.

Terrorists have finally managed to stage another event at the seat of the world's journalistic presence in Iraq. My three-day forcast calls for much hand-wringing about the 'rapidly degrading' conditions in Iraq, and some punative indictments of coalition forces' 'inability' to maintain security. Bush will be blamed within the hour.

Thank Walter Cronkite for teaching the world's bad actors that you just need to put something ugly near cameras to win. Where's his protege, Rather, when terrorists need that crucial declaration of failure?

Update: What do I win?

BUSH WANTS ALL THE BAD NEWS REPORTS TO STOP!...... scare all reporters into leaving or order all reporters out because it's too dangerous...it's only 28 days untill our elections

I guess it's official, the attack was a Bush conspiracy. Double or nothing: the plot was carried out by Jews.