I'm all about the parity

Much hullaballoo has arisen from President Bush's refusal to provide an exhaustive discourse of his failure to stop beating his wife any mistakes he believes he has made, and during a presidential campaign in which he aspires to re-election no less. Arrogant indeed.

In the event that CBS' Bob Schieffer has not yet settled on his questions for tonight's debate, I'd like to offer up some last-minute suggestions that will allow John Kerry to demonstrate that while President Bush may stonewall, he is perfectly willing to answer similar questions. Think about it, Bob.

• Name three things you've done that would make anyone who's ever shaken your hand go wash their hands if they knew.
• What do you feel is the single most reprehensible thing you've ever done?
• What event in your life would have made for the most compromising photograph, had a photographer been present?
• What is the worst example of fatherhood you can recall from your personal experiences?
• What is the most damaging discovery about your past that the Bush campaign could make?
• What is the best endorsement you could provide for use in Bush campaign ads?
  
• What have you ever done that made you look back and say "Man, I am one sick puppy for having enjoyed that"?
• What would Massachusetts voters most despise you for if they found out about it?
• Please list everything you know about you that would make you vote against yourself.

Update: Scott Ott had an early draft of debate questions