Thursday, January 26, 2006

Or Make me an offer

Have I got a deal for Harry Belafonte! He won't get one better in the 21st century. Lemme pitch it: Harry, if you'll just stop trying to think, I'll stop trying to sing Calypso. Sound complicated? Not so! Steel drums will not coax one more syllable from me - not Limbo Rock, not Angelina, not even the Banana Boat Song, if for your part, whenever 12 random neurons fire you'll just keep mum. Heck, as an added bonus I'll even give up trying to Merengue solo. And in return, you'll never be exposed to something like this:

Jump in the line, rock your body in time, ok, I believe you!
Jump in the line, rock your body in time, ok, I believe you!

Well, not from me you won't, and believe me, that's worth the price of admission. Quick question, Harry - if Colin Powell sold out his race, how come you're the one who seems to keep cashing in on it?

I'd like to get a Friday Frickin' Cat Blogging post in on Friday for a change, and with a dearth of Friday left that means I need to cut it short, otherwise, I'd tell you about a guy who went to jail for failing to follow through on a contract hit. The usual prandial pussy cats seem to have disturbed a commenter over at Six Meat Buffet (actually, I think he was already disturbed when we found him, but I have no liability insurance), so it's a change of pace this time around in deference to the collywobbles of spunky little Spike.


Blogger andy said...

So, Doug, I’m riding the Metro to work last week. My Washington Times did not get delivered, so heading into the train I grabbed the free little paper put out by the Washington Post. It’s like a People magazine newspaper. Real short, mostly fluff stories.

The train is jammed; I move in and stand in the aisle. I try to read the little newspaper, but all I can do is read the last page…and there is a picture and story about calypso boy, Harry Belafonte, rubbing shoulders with his pals in SA.

Then I noticed the fellow sitting in the seat next to where I was standing was going over a power point presentation for “Increasing Membership in the AARP”. I am tall, and it is quite easy for me to read what people are reading as they sit in the seats. Well, the fellow moves his paper to the front page and it says “For executive committee only-not for distribution” (or something similar), so I’m guessing that this guy is somebody at the headquarters here in DC.

My wife, joined me in the AARP along with herself (obviously WITHOUT my knowledge), so I had an expired AARP card in my wallet. Expired, because I would not renew my membership in an organization that is an arm of the democrat party.

Also, I’m sure you know that the AARP gave brainless Belafonte a “Humanitarian Award” in November 2005. OK, you have all the fact, now where is this going?

Well, as Mr. AARP was viewing his PowerPoint slides with the strategies for getting new members, I tore the picture of Belafonte out of the paper, took my AARP card out of my wallet, and tore it in half. I then handed both items to the AARP executive and said “Here, why don’t you do a slide on how Belafonte has chased members away from your organization.”

The fellow was stunned. He sat there and just looked at me and his lips were kind of quivering. It was priceless.

11:00 PM  
Blogger Doug said...

And I bet you thought that card would be useless! When so many little events conspire to allow a Kodak moment like that, I can start to believe in Dirk Gently's holistic method.

I suppose it's relying on the method too much to hope that the interconnectedness of all things also arranged a camcorder at the event?

5:09 PM  

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